


eat shit republicans

by wishyouweresober



Series: cool kidz [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Other, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, groupchat, high school? i think, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24137554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishyouweresober/pseuds/wishyouweresober
Summary: bitch: u chose to hang out with me luvgayarthoe: ofc babe <3horseporn: wow laf we lost our boyfmangiaremoncul: we been KNEW that alex and john were fucking ;-;francophile: i knew it
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Maria Reynolds/Margaret "Peggy" Schuyler
Series: cool kidz [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741837
Comments: 3
Kudos: 88





	eat shit republicans

**Author's Note:**

> hihihi again  
> i think id like this to be a series so  
> there u go
> 
> bitch: alex  
> pure: eliza  
> angelic: angelica  
> pegme: peggy  
> gayarthoe: john  
> mangiaremoncul: laf  
> horseporn: herc  
> imsick: madison  
> francophile: jeffs  
> girlinred: maria

**_operation mullafens 2k20_ **

_ 9:20 P.M. _

frenchaboo: GUYS GUESS WHAT JUST FUCCKING HAPPENDED

bitcUESS WHAT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED

bitch: THOMAS I STG ILL BReak uP WITH YOU

gayarthoe: alex last night u were crying abt how much u loved his “disgusting sexy prick of a self”

bitch: e tu, john?

gayarthoe: lmfao u know it bitch

_ mangiaremoncul has changed frenchaboo’s name to francophile! _

**_mangiaremoncul has changed the groupchat name to ‘eat shit republicans’_ **

mangiaremoncul: i think thats what you meant. now, what???

francophile: ALEX AND I WERE ON A DATE AT THE MALL

angelic: throws up in aro

_ bitch has changed angelic’s name to aggressive! _

bitch: NOW SERRIOUSLY STfu ASSHOLE

francophile: OK AND THEN LIKE I LEAVE HIM TO GO GET SOMETHIN

gayarthoe: alex c a l m down ur biting my hand

bitch: u chose to hang out with me luv

gayarthoe: ofc babe <3

horseporn: wow laf we lost our boyf

mangiaremoncul: we been KNEW that alex and john were fucking ;-;

francophile: i knew it

francophile: ANYWAYS SO THEN IM HEADING BACK AND I SEE SOME GUY TALKING TO ALRX LIKE HES LIKE A LOST CHILD. GUESS WHY?

pure: Oh my god Alexander again

bitch: LISTEN I DONT ACRUALLY LOOK 5

mangiaremoncul: DID HE THINK AELXANDER WAS A CHILD

francophile: YEA AND WHEN I CAME BACK AND LIKE SORTED IT OUT AND KISSED LEX HE SENT US A DI R T Y LOOK BC I DONT THINK HE BELIEVED ME

bitch: hearts BROKEN thomas u snake

francophile: u know it

horseporn: lex u really do look like a five year old

gayarthoe: fr tho

_ gayarthoe has sent 1 image (childorfortythreeyearoldman.jpg) _

bitch: fuck u john. i’m leaving.

francophile: aw babe u look so cute

bitch: IM L E AVE I NG

aggressive: i will never understand how thomas and alexander went from stabbung each other to fucking and being in love

bitch: in that order.

mangiaremoncul: yep and we had to deal with alexander complaining about only getting his dick and not his heart for months

bitch: i m d o n e 

girlinred: yo if yall are done do u wanna do something

horseporn: i do im tired of them

pegme: yessss bb

bitch: something that doesn’t involve the two of you making out

_ aggressive has sent 1 image (jamiltonporn.jpg) _

mangiaremoncul: love my foster brother

bitch: THAT IS BASICALLY CHILD PORN

pegme: haha alex is a bottom

gayarthoe: been knew ;)

bitch: only for u babe

francophile: and me

bitch: ok aLso we weren’t even fucking how do u know im a bottom

aggressive: the annoying energy

pure: You give off the vibe Alexander

bitch: gasp betsey im shocked

francophile: ok but do we got plans or

girlinred: !! yeah come to peggys?

bitch: are the parents home?

pegme: nope

pure: I swear if I have to take care of drunk teenagers again…

gayarthoe: alex n i are on our way

francophile: i got laf and herc. as long as they dont fuck in my back seat

bitch: why were u with them??

francophile: hanging out with ur dad

bitch: my

gayarthoe: hold it in alex

bitch: both hands on the wheel bitch

_ pegme has changed bitch’s name to angrybottom! _

angrybottom: u whore

aggressive: who r u calling a whore slut

mangiaremoncul: and just like that alexander was dead

francophile: lol rip

angrybottom: i need a new boyfriend

francophile: love u babygirl

angrybottom: JOHN DID U TELL HIM

gayarthoe: haha

angrybottom: … love u too tho

horseporn: why do i feel like lex has a daddy kink

mangiaremoncul: because he’s gross

pure: Don’t be mean, Laf.

horseporn: yea say sorry

mangiaremoncul: ok fine daddy

angrybottom: N O L A F D I S G U S TI N G 

aggressive: im not shocked

gayarthoe: we’re here

francophile: same

pegme: LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED

_ 10:43 A.M. _

gayarthoe: i want to mcfuckin die

pure: I told you all to drink responsibly.

aggressive: but,,, u did drink

mangiaremoncul: eliza is a powerful being

horseporn: she scares me ngl

pegme: yes. she scares me. a lot.

girlinred: dw babe ill protect you

pegme: ly

gayarthoe: hey i want affection

horseporn: i lOVE U SO MUCH

mangiaremoncul: UR BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT

horseporn: PRECIOUS BABE

gayarthoe: im sob

aggressive: ANYWAYS

pure: Are Alexander and Thomas dead?

aggressive: fingers crossed 

horseporn: i feel like we should add someone who thomas is friends with

mangiaremoncul: i am

_ horseporn has added imsick to  _ **_eat shit republicans_ **

imsick: ? hi

horseporn: YOOOO

mangiaremoncul: ah is this james madison

imsick: yes?

gayarthoe: welcome to hell

gayarthoe: also we lost thomas 

francophile: right here

francophile: jemmy!

horseporn: get down here jeffz

francophile: ugh why ok

francophile: nvm cant alex said no

aggressive: tell him its not a choice

angrybottom: leave my bf alone i hurt and hes warm

gayarthoe: aw leave em thats cute

pure: Fine, but we have pancakes.

horseporn: and i made coffee

angrybottom: :((( but im warm

mangiaremoncul: dadll be here soon petit lion

gayarthoe: lmfao a chance to see wash disappointed?

pegme: just have him look at alex

girlinred: AYYYY ROAST BABE

pegme: im just cooler than all of u

pegme: except for ria

pure: Thanks, Peggy.

gayarthoe: peggy transcends all of us

horseporn: rt

mangiaremoncul: rt

francophile: rt

angrybottom: r t

aggressive: u broke the chain dumbass

angrybottom: im unique and different angelica

aggressive: more like bitchy and loud

angrybottom: u are m e a n

francophile: we should get up tho babe

mangiaremoncul: why dont u talk out loud

francophile: bc his head hurts

gayarthoe: fuck they’re cute

horseporn: dont worry babe we can be too

pure: I love the single life.

aggressive: come hug me then liza.

pure: Alright.

_ 3:35 P.M. _

pegme: LMFAO ALEX JUST BEAT ADAMS UP


End file.
